One of the aspects of dealing with humans is that you will receive feedback from them. At other times, you’ll need to give feedback to them. Here are my 2 cents on this topic.
Receiving Feedback
Getting feedback from someone is a gift. Embrace your gift and thank the person giving it to you. However, not every feedback is kind.
How do you know a feedback is kind?
I wrote in an older article:
… is the feedback about something you can improve/change? Then it is constructive.
Notice how a scientist receives feedback. They would take feedback as input for their subsequent trials. If they were resistant and defensive each time a trial failed, that scientist or inventor is not getting very far. Similarly, we must take feedback from other (well-meaning) people in good faith.
Assume Positive Intent
API
This means having good thoughts about others as most people have good intentions.
We must respect and value businesses that give us feedback after an interview. Companies should tell candidates their application was rejected if they are not moving forward instead of keeping job-seekers in the lurk. The worst is when a candidate contacts the recruiter, and the recruiter ignores the candidate. The ideal company would go so far as to explain why you were not hired this time.
Giving Feedback
Today, while I was listening to Daniel Bachhuber on WordSesh, I heard him say the following:
Clear is kind.
Being as objective and as clear as possible is a service we are giving to the one we are giving feedback to – in order that they may take the maximum use out of this feedback.
Could you make it about their work and not about the person? If you have a personal grudge against your coworker, this will come out sooner or later. So, as a developer, always review the code, not the coder. In case you have a resentment against anyone, best to sort it directly instead of leaving snarky reviews on their work.
Another popular tactic is sandwich feedback. It may work for some and not work for others. It’s like a feel-good way to present negative feedback, where you give good feedback at the start and the end and keep the negative feedback in the middle of your message.
This resolves around being kind and not fake. We all want to be the former and not the latter.
We should be wise and know when to give feedback and when not to give feedback. For example, you should not tell a person who lost a loved one to “man up”. This is a crude example, but I believe you get the point.
Another trap some tech folks fall into is thinking they are too good to be kind. Listen! No one is too good for anything. So, we must not use genius as an excuse to behave like a jerk.
Code is written for other humans to read.
“Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.”
Martin Fowler
Closing note
All of this does not mean I have had bad experiences with anyone or that I am now a master at giving and receiving feedback. It just means I write about topics that I like.
It may just mean I have read a bit about this or learned from the stories and experience of others.
“If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.”
Sir Isaac Newton
